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Friday 3 November 2017

Stuck In An ATM and Other Shorts

The world's longest recorded human tooth was owned by Urvil Patel of Vadodara in India. It was measured at 1.4 inches (3.6cm) when it was removed from his mouth.

Feral Wildman Or Naked Rambler?
Feral Wildman Or Naked Rambler?

The wild man of Pembrokeshire has been spotted by a hill walker in the Presell Mountains. He reported the sighting at the summit of Cam Goedog were he said he saw a "naked feral man hunched over and looking at the ground. I couldn't hear if he was talking to me or just making sounds". The walker did what any sensible person would do when faced with a hairy naked man on a hill top .... he made himself scarce, but only after taking some photographs.

Batman lives! Well that's all we can conclude after prisoner 'Joe King' reported to the prison newspaper Inside Time that he had seen "a creature on the roof" of Parkhurst Prison (now called HMP Isle of Wight). He described the creature as being "half man and half bat". Apparently the 'Beast of Parkhurst' had been eating pigeons.

The stupidity of erstwhile criminal masterminds never ceases to amaze me. Joseph Murphy, a resident of Bath Township Ohio rang the police to report the theft of his heroin stash. He requested that they loan him a police dog to help track his former girlfriend who he accused of the crime.

On the LGBT front it's now reported that up to a fifth of all male fish in the UK's rivers have been made trans-gender because of chemicals coming from our drains and toilets. Some have displayed female traits and produced eggs. They always said nothing good would come of the contraceptive pill.

Man Stuck In ATM
ATM Woes ....

Trapped in an ATM .. either this is more common than I think or I have reported this before. A repairman was trapped for over 2 hours in an ATM in Corpus Christi Texas before someone listened to his cries for help and let him out. Passers-by had apparently thought they were being set up for a TV joke and had ignored him.

Jurassic dreams were revived with reports that the oldest sample of mammal blood was taken from a monkey tick trapped in amber 30 million years ago. The discovery of the tick in the Dominican Republic has raised my hopes of dinosaur cloning.

A New Zealand bee-keeper has proved that avarice overcomes common sense every-time. Aurel Braguta sat his naked backside on top of an active beehive "for a bet". He won £500 but at a cost. When asked if there was any risk of pain he replied "As you can imagine, your arse swells up" ... we can take that as a 'yes' then.

A man went to his doctor as he was worried about a green line that had appeared on his leg. He was frightened that it was a flesh eating bacterial infection. The doctors rushed him to Accident and Emergency at Darent Valley Hospital in Dartford Kent. An ever practical nurse whipped out a wet wipe and scrubbed the green off. It was ink from a pen that had burst in his pocket.

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